


What's an Orgasm?

by queenlunatic



Series: Zutara Week 2019 [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Zutara Week 2019, aang and toph are rascals, in which katara and zuko give aang and toph "The Talk", katara tries to keep his cool in check, momtara and dadko for the win, sokka gets unfairly blamed, zuko is just trying to not combust into flames, zutara week 2019 day 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 08:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20061340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenlunatic/pseuds/queenlunatic
Summary: "Listen to me," she says, hands once again on his shoulders, "Trust me. There is nothing those polar-dog puppies can throw at us that we can't handle. We're master benders and we are the adults here.""Uh."But even she is starting to look panicked as she repeats, "Trust me."___________(In which the Group Mom and Dad sit down with the youngest members of Team Avatar and have 'The Talk.')





	What's an Orgasm?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually posting the day four prompt on day four! yippie for me! Wooo, I finally got on schedule!
> 
> This one was really fun to write and I hope you all find it as fun to read. 
> 
> Also, if you're a fan of Brooklyn Nine-Nine you'll see the main inspiration for this fic right away! 
> 
> That being said, the couple of lines that are drawn from the show are not mine at all and I *do not* claim ownership of them!
> 
> Happy reading!

* * *

Zuko is twenty and five months when he hears the words, "Hey Zuko, what's sex?" come out of the child Avatar's mouth. 

Somehow, even though they're outside, the training area seems all too small and stifling. The sweat on his back seems to instantly freeze and drop down in little icicles.  
  
The Avatar's face is open and hopeful for an answer. Where did he even learn that word?! He bets it was Sokka.  
  
"Where did you learn that word?" the words come out in a rush.  
  
"Sokka said that's why he needed alone time with Suki yesterday."  
  
Note, punch Sokka in the face for corrupting a thirteen year old.  
  
How is he both restless and completely still at the same time? How is the day both burning and freezing at the same time? How is he going to get out of this one? He knows that last question can be answered with '_you're not getting out of this one, buddy_,' given Aang's persistent nature. He's still a kid, an inquisitive kid at that, he'll just ask and ask until Zuko breaks down and answers.  
  
Especially since Aang looks up to him as some sort of mentor, an older brother figure, and sometimes Zuko thinks the Avatar might think of him as a sort of father figure despite his young age.  
  
But Zuko is twenty, was never given the chance to be a proper older brother, and isn't twenty a little young to be a father anyways?  
  
Mostly, he's just afraid that he'll say the wrong thing and completely ruin the young monks innocence completely.  
  
"So ..... what is it?"  
  
Aang's eyes shine with curiosity and Zuko's all too aware that he is most definitely not getting out of this one.  
  
Zuko panics and calls out the first name that his mind conjures. Possibly the best name he could call.  
  
"Katara!"  
  
Aang speaks up, "Does that mean firebending practice is over?"  
  
Zuko only groans in defeat.  
  
*  
  
Katara is eighteen and seven months old when she places her hands on a sweaty, panicking Fire Nation Prince. Not that she hasn't done this before, Zuko is a bit of a worrier and this situation just cannot be helping.  
  
"So he wants to know what sex is," she states.  
  
He nods.  
  
"How did he even learn that word. He's a monk and a kid."  
  
"Your brother."  
  
Ah. Note, thump Sokka upside the head the next time she sees him.

Where is Sokka anyways, she hasn't seen him in ... and then she remembers the topic on hand and the fact that she hasn't seen Suki either and blanches. It's best not to dwell on that fact.  
  
She pokes her head inside the kitchen, where the airbender sits, entertaining himself with an air disk. His tongue is out in concentration and the high sunlight in the room serves to highlight his freckles. He's so tiny, so innocent.  
  
He smiles and waves when he sees her. She smiles back and ducks her head out.  
  
"Oh no," she says, "No, no, he's so little. There's no way. I didn't even get The Talk until I was fourteen and I was mortified."  
  
"My Uncle gave me mine at sixteen." He shudders, "and that's not an experience I ever want to remember."  
  
By what Zuko's said about his Uncle she has to believe him. Zuko's uncle seems sweet, but also kooky. And given Zuko's awkward and high strung nature she can only imagine his reactions to having The Talk.  
  
"We were both older, and it was still not ... " She can't find the words for it.  
  
"I get you," he tells her. "But he's in there waiting."  
  
Then another voice trickles into the kitchen.  
  
"He ya Twinkletoes, whatcha doing? Why aren't you out there training with Sparky?"  
  
Zuko's eyes widen. His head starts shaking. "Oh no."  
  
"Calm down and stop shaking your head, you're getting sweat all over me!" she whispers harshly. "Just hold on, they might start talking and he'll forget and we can talk to him about this later. Like maybe in two years. Or get an actual adult to do it."  
  
"Right yes, okay, good thinking Kat."  
  
She gives him a two fingered salute as if to say, "Well, duh."  
  
"Oh I'm just waiting on Zuko and Katara to come and answer a question for me."  
  
Zuko's eyes widen even further. She has to press a hand to his, very sweaty and very attractive--stop that Katara!--chest to calm him down again.  
  
What's worse than Aang asking about what sex is? Toph asking about what sex is.  
  
"Oh no," Zuko murmurs, absolute defeat in his voice.  
  
The two not-actual-adults move closer to the door way, and Katara peers in.  
  
Toph is now sitting next to Aang, her hair sticking out in all directions. She must have just awoken from a nap as Katara sees her let out a yawn.  
  
"What question?"  
  
Zuko freezes once more.  
  
"Oh just about what sex is."  
  
Zuko might have just have started hyperventilating again.  
  
Toph is fourteen, Katara reasons, maybe she already knows. Maybe she can give Aang .... oh what is she thinking! Toph is barely more than a child herself.  
  
"Oh hey I know what that!--"  
  
She decides to burst into the room just then. Toph might just decide to give him all sorts of bad information just for the heck of it and who knows what sort of trouble that will cause.  
  
"Hey Aang, hey Toph, uhm, can you just give us a second Aang? I just need Zuko to uhm, take a deep breath before he comes in."  
  
She's all too aware that the entire house is practically a matchbox for a frazzled firebender. Why would firebenders even build such flammable houses!  
  
"Oh okay. Is he alright? He seemed out of sorts when were out there," he laughs, "I hope Sifu Hotman doesn't get overheated, ha."  
  
She hears a groan from outside the room and an exasperated, "_Don't call me that right now, please_."  
  
"Right," she says for lack of a better word.  
  
"So you and Sparky are going to give us the sex talk?" Toph crosses her hands over her chest. "This should be _interesting_."  
  
*  
Zuko watches as Katara reappears through the door frame.  
  
"Hey, hey, calm down. Look it can't ... it can't be that bad. We can simplify it."  
  
"This isn't math Katara it's ... that talk. Ugh, I- can, can I punch your brother?"  
  
"With my full permission. Sokka should watch what he says around them. They're kids."  
  
The fact that Sokka is a brilliant strategist with a charisma for leadership does not negate the fact that he also has little common sense.  
  
"Listen to me," she says, hands once again on his shoulders, "Trust me. There is nothing those polar-dog puppies can throw at us that we can't handle. We're master benders and we are the adults here."  
  
"Uh."  
  
But even she is starting to look panicked as she repeats, "Trust me."  
  
*  
  
"So it's normal for me to wake up with ...."  
  
And Zuko goes pale and nearly sets the table on fire. "Yes it's normal," he croaks out before Aang can finish the sentence.  
  
*  
  
"So if I'm not comfortable enough I'll bleed? My mom just said he has to stick in me."  
  
"She said it like _that?!_" Katara heaves. Zuko puts his face in both his hands.  
  
Toph laughs.  
  
"Stick it in where?" Aang chirps up.  
  
Katara later wonders how Zuko didn't get a concussion from the awful head bang against the table. (He has a huge red welt in the middle of his forehead for days afterwards.)  
  
*  
  
"Oh so the babies don't come out of the butt then," Toph affirms to a very red-faced Katara.  
  
"No! No they don't. I can assure you they don't. Let's move on."  
  
"Agni preserve me," Zuko mumbles.  
  
Even Aang seems to want to find a way out.  
  
*  
  
"I overheard Sokka talking to Suki about something ..." Aang trails off.  
  
Zuko isn't sure this isn't a bad dream or that he's dead and this is some test from Agni.  
  
They've been here for more than an hour, surely this has to be some test from Agni.  
  
"Oh yeah!" Aang continues, "what's an orgasm?"  
  
He hears Katara shriek out an "_Ah!_" while he simultaneously lets out an "_Oh come on!_"  
  
*  
  
"I think that's it," Katara tells them. "There is nothing more that you can ask."  
  
She sounds frazzled to the extreme and Zuko can't blame her. He thinks his throat has closed up due to the sheer embarrassment of the whole situation. He mimes a punch to a hand and Katara nods. No doubt she wants to punch Sokka too.  
  
Aang, whom they've thankfully handled with precision (they omitted some things, he's a kid!), looks at him as if to ask for permission for the question he's about to ask next.  
  
He sighs. "Go ahead Aang."  
  
Aang clears his throat, "So uh, well we know that Sokka and Suki can have sex because they're adults ... does that mean you and Katara have sex as well?"  
  
Katara gapes and he's out of the room with a strangled, choked "nope," before he can even hear her response.  
  
He hears Toph laughing as he bolts to his room.  
  
*  
The knock at his door jolts him out of his meditating position. Today has been too much to handle, and he recognizes that knock as Katara's.  
  
He doesn't think he can face her after that last question. But Zuko isn't a coward (at least he thinks he isn't) and he tells her to come in. Not that he needed too, she was already opening his door by the time the words are in the air.  
  
"Hey, Hotman," she says. He groans, not her too, he seriously needs to tell these people what that word actually means. "Can we talk?"  
  
"Not if you're going to ask me to give you a sex talk." He tries to make it come out as a joke but it sounds more constricted and awkward than intended.  
  
He swears he hears her stifle a laugh.  
  
"You bolted out of there like if someone had set your pants on fire." She crosses over to sit on the floor next to him.  
  
"I ... I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean too, run, run out I mean, it's the question was ... yeah."  
  
_Agni kill me_, he begs.  
  
"Yeah I guess that question was ah, it was something right?"  
  
He doesn't trust his mouth so he chooses to nod instead.  
  
"I mean, I said no right because we've never .... Right. We've never but uhm .... could--" she stops, "Oh La, what am I ...? Hold on, hold on," she bites her lip and places her hands on both her knees. "What I'm trying to say is, that we're adults right and Zuko .... what is this between us?"  
  
She sits back a little, he notes, mouth open slightly as she thinks about what she's just said.  
  
He wants to pretend he doesn't understand what she's talking about. It would be much easier that way. But even he has wanted to ask that same question for weeks now.  
  
Their touches lingered too long, their hugs even longer. They had gotten into the habit of seeking each other at all times of the day, either to talk or just be around each other. Sparring felt more like ... well to Zuko it felt just as good as well, sex, and the way she would look at him, with hunger in her eyes he could tell she felt a little like that too. Then there were those damned goodnight cheek kisses that just made his entire being fill with need at the thought of having more of those kisses in ... other places ... that he was always looking forward too and dreading the coming of the night.  
  
But despite it all, he'd been afraid to ask because he was afraid to ruin this friendship he'd spent so hard to earn from her. One mistake, one assumption that she felt anything different and he feared that it would all go adrift and drown in the ocean.  
  
He hears her sigh. "Zuko I can see you practically having a discussion with yourself."  
  
"Sorry," he blurts out, "Sorry I just ... Kat. I don't want to be, I don't want to be wrong."  
  
"About how you might feel about me?" She casts her eyes down to focus on where her hands have started pinching at the fabric of her dress.  
  
"About how you might feel about me," he clarifies. "I know how I feel about you."  
  
Her head snaps up and an eyebrow quirks up. "Oh?" her mouth sets itself into a puckered shape.  
  
He wants to kiss her so badly.  
  
"I like you Katara, I really, really like you."  
  
"You do?" Her eyes shine in the candlelight. "Because I really, really like you too, Zuko."  
  
He can't help the smile that breaks out across his face.  
  
"Re-really?"  
  
She laughs brightly. "Yes Zuko, I really do."  
  
He's kissing her before his mind can catch up.  
  
*

The sparring is amazing, he can still say that with confidence, but the actual sex is much, much better.  
  
Even Katara thinks the same thing as she snuggles in closer to her panicky, and all too adorable Fire Nation Prince.  
  
*  
  
"What did I tell you Twinkletoes? Now pay up."  
  
"Not fair, you didn't have to ask that dumb question. You practically baited them Sifu."  
  
"You didn't have to pretend like you didn't know what sex was!"  
  
Aang smiles sheepishly, "I mean I knew the general stuff, the Monks made sure of that, but not some of the other stuff."  
  
Toph chortles. "Oh man I wish I could have seen their faces! Their heartbeats were faster than two rabaroos!"  
  
Aang joins in her laughter, "Yeah it was pretty funny."  
  
Toph is wiping a tear from her eye, "You have to admit that at least now they won't be running around in circles over each other like two lily livers.That was getting really old, really quick."  
  
"I thought it was cute, since they're like the Mom and Dad of the group," Aang admits, "Zuko always had the biggest smile on his face around Katara."  
  
"Well now he'll be smiling even bigger."  
  
Aang gives a nervous giggle at that. "I just hope they don't actually punch Sokka."  
  
"Oh man you blamed Sokka?" Her laughter escalates. "This is going to be such a shitfest. Nevermind, don't pay me anything, just seeing how this plays out afterwards will be payment enough."  
  
*  
  
"I cannot believe the nerve of you!" Katara is yelling at her brother later that day. "Talking about sex in front of a child!"  
  
Zuko is leaning against the wall, admiring the away his new girlfriend is raging. He's a little scared himself but also a little aroused if he's being honest. Thank Agni and even La that he can finally act out on that last part.  
  
"What?! Why would I talk about sex in front of Aang! Katara that's absurd! I'm dumb sometimes, I'll admit, but I'm not stupid!"  
  
"Oh don't give me that! Aang claimed that you said that you needed alone time with Suki because you were having sex! Sokka- ugh! Zuko and I had to give him The Talk because of you!"  
  
Sokka stops. "Wait what?"  
  
"Don't you "wait what" me!"  
  
Sokka's hands have come up in front of him. "Bleeding hog monkeys! Katara, I have no idea what you're talking about!" His face has gone as red as a beet and all Zuko can think of is how much he hates beets.  
  
"What's going on?" Suki inquires as she comes and stands next to him, "What's with all the yelling about sex? You really shouldn't be doing that with two kids here."  
  
Zuko turns to Suki as Katara and Sokka are still arguing in the back.  
  
Zuko snorts. "Sokka took care of bringing up the topic with Aang. Said that's why you needed alone time yesterday."  
  
"Wait what?" Suki furrows her brows. "Sokka and I went out on a date into the town yesterday. We've haven't had sex yet," she deadpans.  
  
Now it's Zuko's turn to ask, "Wait what?"  
  
"Yeah ..." she pauses, "Sokka wants it to be perfect, or whatever, I don't care, I love him so much I'd ..." she trails off, averting her eyes from Zuko, "What I mean is, we haven't had sex yet so there's no reason why Sokka would say something like that. There wasn't even a plan of that for yesterday. We just went out to the market and caught a midday play. Nothing like ... well, what they're arguing about."  
  
His attention snaps back to Katara and her tirade against her brother, who has now gone from yelling back to looking downright done with her ranting about having to Mother a thirteen and fourteen year old in that way when she's not even old enough to have children yet.  
  
Zuko cuts his way through the courtyard and comes up behind her and places his hands on her arms. "Hey Kat, uhm, I think there's been some sort of ... misunderstanding."  
He leans down to whisper what Suki just told him and he feels Katara slump against him as she whispers "Wait what?"  
  
She picks up her head. "Sokka I'm so so sorry, but why--"  
  
The sound of two children running away laughing fills the courtyard.  
  
"Why those sneaky little elephant-rats!" she squeals. "That's it, I don't care why they did it or why they blamed Sokka but they are so getting extra chores tonight! Come on Zuko, they tricked you too."  
  
And so they go, and Zuko feels more like a father than ever before as they find a snickering Toph and Aang and scold them into doing extra chores for an entire week. But if he has to be a father, he's glad Katara is the mother.  
  
Which of course, only leads to some fantasizing about their actual future children. (Because there's no way there's anybody else out there for him but his Water Tribe Princess, even Uncle Iroh would cuff him upside the head if he ever let her go.)  
  
*  
  
"You have to stop calling me Sifu Hotman," Zuko groans out some days later during firebending training, "Maybe in your day it meant something different, but now it just means that I'm a sexually voracious."  
  
He knows he's lost Aang at the word 'voracious.'  
  
"It means that I go around having sex with everybody."  
  
"Ooooh, that wouldn't be right. Since you're only having sex with Katara."  
  
"Argh, just, just stop calling me that okay?!"  
  
Aang laughs as he skips away on his air scooter.


End file.
